To Cook A Turkey
by HiddenMusic
Summary: What makes a Thanksgiving dinner? The turkey of course! Now...if only Peter could cook one when Elizabeth leaves him in charge of this year's turkey. And who does Peter turn to for help in this Thanksgiving crisis? That's right, our dear 'ol Neal!


_**Author's Notes~**_

Here I am with yet another holiday fic! This is my second Thanksgiving fic (my one from last year being _The Gift of Family_) and I must say that between this year and last year I believe my writing has greatly improved. :) I tried more of a narration, story-book like feel for this fic. Let me know how you all like it because I'm considering using it again for a planned Christmas fic I have in mind.

Enjoy!

**To Cook A Turkey**

Once again it was chilly outside with the winds howling and the snow beginning to fall lightly on the streets of New York. The busy season was on its way. Well with Thanksgiving already upon us all the stores are packed! The turkeys are selling out like a child's favorite candy. Stores prepared for black Friday and the ever-busy holiday season that was to follow. On the skeletal trees were their leaves of crisp gold and browns which, from time to time, part from the branch and drift down to the trampled concrete streets below.

What is Thanksgiving without the turkey? Freshly cooked turkey covered tastefully with gravy and that good stuffing on the side. Turkey was the heart and soul of every Thanksgiving meal; it's just a matter of putting it together. What does one do if they cannot make the turkey? Simple really, you put that load on somebody else. If not? Well, then you're out of luck, my friend.

But now we'll be taking a look at another household who, when it comes to cooking a turkey, might run into some technical – and talented – difficulties this Thanksgiving eve. See that house? The house on that Manhattan street? Let us have a-

"_Neal_!" a panicked voice interrupted the story narration. It was Peter, yelling on the phone, "No," the agent was saying, "I wasn't _yelling_…No don't give me that! C'mon! You owe me – For what? Remember _last _Thanksgiving? That's right, you remember…What do you mean that was Elizabeth's doing? I – Okay, never mind, we'll argue later. Listen, I need your help. Yes, Neal, me needing your assistance isn't a life-accomplishing goal! Elizabeth wants me to make the turkey this year since she's too busy this year to do it herself – Yes, yes! Elizabeth usually makes the turkey…No that wasn't my cooking last year…just shut up, will you give me a hand? Good…uh…thanks."

The FBI agent hung up the phone when the conversation ended. No sooner did he put the phone back on the hook did the doorbell ring.

Peter looked up at first in puzzlement. Surely even _Neal _wasn't that quick? He went over to the door and opened it up. No, Neal really wasn't that quick. Peter raised his eyebrows skeptically at the familiar face of Mozzie, who invited himself in, "So Neal says you need help." He said as he made himself comfortable in the living room, rubbing his hands together and warming up by the fire.

"I only _just _hung up with him…" Peter said, looking blankly at Mozzie as he shut the door.

"Three words, Suite," Mozzie glanced over his shoulder, "Three-way-calling."

"And…you can cook a turkey?" questioned the FBI agent.

"Only if it includes getting part of that turkey," that was certainly no difficult hint for 'Suite'.

"You…" Peter shook his head. He did _not _want Neal's odd friend joining them for Thanksgiving, but better that than facing the wrath of his wife when Thanksgiving comes and he hasn't got a turkey ready, "Fine. So you can cook a turkey?"

"Of course," Mozzie said, reaching for something under his coat, "It's not hard. Now where is the turkey?" he held up a small axe and looked to Peter expectantly.

Peter, on the other hand, gaped at the axe, watching as his dog went over and gave the axe a curious sniff, "N-No…It's already dead…put that thing away!"

"Oh," Mozzie lowered the axe and gave a small shrug, "Then I'm not sure how else I can help you, Suite."

Peter gave a slight smile, "Well then," he said, making his way back towards the door, "You're more than welcome to-." He stopped himself when he saw that Neal was waiting right outside, wearing that Neal-smile of his, "….leave." Peter sighed the last part as Neal, just like Mozzie, invited himself in, "Hey, Peter!"

"Neal…can _you _cook a turkey? Not KILL, COOK!" he ensured to correct.

"Not at all, I was just bored." Neal smiled, casually looking at the several items adorned on the shelves, "But," he added, looking back at his partner, "Nothing wrong with experimenting!"

"That sounds like it'll work," Peter grumbled with a doubtful roll of his eyes. Why does this not surprise him? A rare time he'll ask for the help of Neal and Neal can't give it…at least not in the way Peter would prefer.

"Things will be fine. C'mon! Where's the turkey?" Neal and Mozzie both strolled into the kitchen, Neal looking through the fridge and finding the turkey while Mozzie was…apparently finding the matches.

"_Cook_! Not _burn_!" Peter snapped at him, causing Mozzie to give him an odd look, "Geeze, Suite, I heard you the first time."

"Yeah, which is why you pulled out an axe." Peter took the matches away, cramming them in his jacket pocket, "No matches for you."

"Suites…" Mozzie muttered, going through the cabinets and pulling out all sorts of spices that he could find.

"This is not going to work…" sighed Peter, burying his face in his hands mainly because of the idiots he feels he surrounds himself with. But, as always, Neal only smiled, "Hey, there is always an easy way to solve things nowadays."

Peter raised his head and arched an eyebrow at Neal, "Is there…?"

"You have a computer?"

"Yes Neal, I have a computer…"

"Google it." Neal said simply, sitting down on the kitchen table and throwing his legs up, "Google is the answer to all of our problems. Besides, it decorates itself for holidays!"

"Yeah, it's wonderful. I can't wait to see that Google logo with a turkey in the middle," Peter replied sarcastically, yet he still got his laptop out, "But Google is probably more reliable than the two of you right now,"

As soon as he brought up Google, he typed in: how to cook a turkey.

"That looks reliable," Neal noted, pointing to the one with the address, www. howtoocookathanksgivingturkey. com.

"Yes…" agreed Peter, clicking on it, "That _would _be what we need, wouldn't it?"

"Alright," Peter read the first step, "Number one, put oven on accurate temperature."

"Mozzie already has that taken care of," Neal commented, gesturing to where Mozzie was in the kitchen.

Peter dared to follow the gesture, "That's what concerns me…" he looked back to the screen, "Number two, your turkey has to be totally thawed and cleaned."

"Mozzie is taking care of that too," the partners once more looked to the scene of Mozzie cleaning the turkey.

"I'm just going to pretend those hands are clean…" was all Peter had to say before looking back once again to the computer, "Number three, be sure to remove the neck and giblets from inside of the turkey…"

"Got it all covered!" Mozzie assured. Peter didn't _want _to look over.

"Number four, know the actual weight of the turkey," Peter looked again over to Mozzie, who had lifted the thing in his hands, "Ah…fourteen pounds I think…"

"That's accurate, I'm sure…" Peter said with an exasperated sigh.

Neal continued to look over the site, "Well come on. Let's get some butter melted, some salt and pepper for a crisp skin and a nice roasting pan!"

Peter watched as the two conmen bustled about the kitchen, doing…things…to his turkey. He was starting to think that he and Elizabeth might need shots…for their safety before they eat that turkey.

"Please just assure me you aren't poisoning us…" Peter was hoping he'd make it to Christmas at least…he liked presents.

"Don't worry Peter," Neal assured with a sly grin, placing a hand on Peter's shoulder, "This will be the best turkey your body has ever had,"

Peter looked to Neal, his eyes unblinking, "Don't touch me…."

* * *

And so we're back! Now it is Thanksgiving day at the Burke's place and our dear agent Peter relied on the knowledge and skill of Neal and Mozzie to get him out of this Thanksgiving calamity.

It looks like dinner is about to be served! Let us-."

"_Neal_!" the same panicked voice interrupted the story narration as the FBI agent rushed out back to the conman, "Neal! Where's the turkey? It's not in the fridge!"

"Fridge?" Neal tilted his head at his partner, "Peter, we had to prepare it yesterday. It's in the oven,"

"Oh…" Peter seemed rather embarrassed, "Right…"

"Cheer up, El will love it!" Neal grinned, "It was so nice of her to invite Mozzie over, don't you think?"

"Yeah, gives me somebody to blame when she gags on the meal," Peter agreed, that doubtful look returning.

"Hey! Neal! Suite!" the partners turned to see Mozzie at the door wearing an apron and mittens, "Dinner…you want cold turkey?"

Neal went on in where Elizabeth greeted him with a hug before pulling out a seat for him. Peter took in one gulp, ready to die of whatever disease he was sure the Mozzie-touched turkey carried and proceeded in the house. June and her granddaughter were there too, laughing and talking happily with Elizabeth.

Mozzie was carrying the turkey to the table and set it down in the middle. Peter, as he sat down, noticed something, "Why is there an extra set out?"

"Because we have an extra person," Elizabeth enlightened with a small smile.

"_Who_?"

The doorbell rang and Elizabeth smiled, "There she is!" she said, heading over to the door and opened it, "Thanks for coming Alex,"

"Sorry I'm late," the con-woman said with a polite smile as Elizabeth invited her in. Peter was nearly gaping at this point. He turned around and became face-to-face with Neal, "Why. Is. She. Here?" he demanded in a rather mellow voice.

"Thought it would be polite, and Elizabeth didn't mind," Neal shrugged, toying with his fedora.

"You do realize…" Peter began, "That me, an FBI agent, has three convicts over for Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Which makes you such a great person," Neal said with a smile, "Good for you," he patted Peter on the back before returning to the others at the table.

Prayer had been said and now the moment of truth came as Mozzie cut the turkey, giving each person their fair share. Everyone dug into the green bean casserole, the stuffing, the pie, the pudding, everything they could get their hands on and the eating commenced.

At first, nobody said anything except for the, 'Mmms…' and the 'Please pass the gravy'. This, Peter decided, was a good sign.

Elizabeth then paused and looked up from her meal and smiled, "Peter! This turkey is delicious."

"Exquisite! A job well done Peter, thank you very much." June added with a smile in the agent's direction.

"Yes, very good flavor," Alex added with an innocent smile, though her words regardless were genuine.

"O-Oh, well, I didn't do it alone," Peter admitted. He would forever feel the guilt should he not credit Neal and Mozzie, and he decided that they deserved some, "Neal and Mozzie gave me a hand."

He realized then that he hadn't even touched his turkey. Now he was curious as to how it tasted and took a gravy-colored piece and put it in his mouth. Peter smiled as he chewed, nodding to Neal and said after swallowing, "I agree with June: Exquisite."

Neal returned the nod, wearing his usual smile as he poured more gravy over his turkey, "And as our gift: Christmas is on us!"

Everyone at the table turned their heads to Peter expectantly. Peter took a deep breath and said, "Yeah…Christmas on us…"

And so everybody continued to enjoy the delicious food, including the turkey. It turned out, after all, that this Thanksgiving was indeed save by some rather unlikely efforts. We won't be going into detail about how the Christmas dinner goes, you all can use your own imagination to figure how that one will go.

With this little out-of-the-blue story coming to an end, I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!

**_Author's Notes~_**

There you have it. :) Hope you all enjoyed! I would love feedback~

Also, if you would like to check out my last year's Thanksgiving fic, _The Gift of Family _which can be found, of course, on my profile. :) Have a Happy Thanksgiving!


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